Remembering Papaw. . .

Remembering my Papaw today. . . This is a copy of what I read at his funeral, one year ago today.

I am one of five people in this world who are lucky enough to call this man my grandfather. Everyone here knows what a special man he was, but take that man and put him in the grandparent role and you get something even more remarkable.

There are so many stories I could tell you right now. All of them funny. About how he used to make up rhyming songs with our names in it. My songs were all about Sherrilee, Calico Flea. Ricky’s had something to do with falling over a hickory stump. And how he used to always give us a dollar whenever we had to go home to Georgia. I guess it was used to lessen the blow of leaving them. It never worked. We still cried.

My mom said to me once that she didn’t know what love was until she became a grandparent. (I asked her, “What am I? Chopped liver?”) But I think I understand what she was saying. Because having a grandparent love you that much. . . that is just as special. Papaw loved us that way, no doubt about it. And he taught us a few things about how to be a grandparent that I want to share with you.

Remember to laugh at yourself – and sometimes its even okay to laugh at other people.

One of my favorite stories Papaw told me was about a trip he took with Mamaw to WalMart. It was the old WalMart that had the little snack bar at the front door. Mamaw would often sit in the snack bar and rest while Papaw shopped. On this trip, he had to use the restroom in the snack bar. As he walked out and started down the big aisle, Mamaw caught a glimpse of him and hollered his name, but he ignored her and kept walking. The next time she yelled it and he turned around and she was motioning for him to come back to her. When he walked back, she pointed to the back of his pants where a paper toilet seat cover was hanging out. Most people would never tell a story like that about themselves. But to my Papaw, it was golden comedic material and he used it often.

Once when my children were little, I took them to the local Kroger pharmacy to get flu shots. We ran into Papaw at the store. When I told him what I was doing, he followed me to the pharmacy and sat in a chair. I told him that he could go finish shopping and that I’d find him when we were through. He looked at me and said, “No. I think I’ll sit right here.” Then the shots came out and one by one he watched as I wrestled with each child, hearing their screams echo through the store, and even chasing one down the freezer aisle. And he could not stop laughing. That became one of his favorite stories to tell about me.

Papaw loved practical jokes. You could always tell when one was coming because he’d flash those blue eyes at you and give you a grin and you just knew. He thought that the greatest thing added to a Ford Van was the alarm system. He wasn’t afraid of it being stolen. He loved sending people to the van and waiting until they got close and then setting off the alarm. He never got tired of that one.

But once that practical joke backfired on him. One day Papaw drove to the post office. As he walked in, he noticed that there were hundreds of birds in a tree over the van where Mamaw was sitting. On his way back to the van, he pushed the alarm and the birds took off in flight. . .and dropped hundreds of little gifts all over him and his van. That became one of Mamaw’s favorite stories to tell about him.

No diet restrictions for grandchildren at their grandparent’s house.

Our summers were spent living off and endless supply Little Debbie cakes and RC Colas. Me and Traci were the ones who thought up eating cookie dough and cake mix. Papaw would always be excited because he thought we were making a cake. But we keep the dough and batter in the refrigerator and eat it with a spoon. There is no way we’d have gotten away with that at home. If that wasn’t enough sugar, Papaw would take us to the market in Walland and give us his change purse that he always carried in his pocket and let us spend it all on candy. There was a day when you could get a TON of candy for a bunch of quarters. And I never thought about it until now how much time I spent in the dentist office as a child.

Marry the person you love and stay with them no matter what.

My grandparents were married over 65 years. And considering that my grandfather had a lot of Irish and my grandmother had a lot of Cherokee – put those two volatile personalities together and see what happens. That’s a whole other group of funny stories. But they showed us by their example how to love and support each other, through thick and thin. All five of their grandchildren are married to their first choice. Between us, we have over 75 years being married and we’re not THAT old. I think that’s pretty amazing.

Take all of your vacation days.

Papaw got several weeks of vacation every year and he always had a plan where he wanted to go. My brother and I had the pleasure of many trips to Florida with Mamaw and Papaw when we were kids. We still did it the economical way back then – one hotel room with 2 double beds for 6 people. My brother got the cot and I slept on the floor. The last trip we took together was to Panama City Beach. When I asked how long we were going to stay, Papaw said, “Until your Dad’s credit cards wear out.” We stayed about a week. But we did everything – amusement parks, water slides, boat trips, seafood dinners. Anything we wanted to do, they did it. That was also the trip that a huge wave ate Mamaw’s new wig.

Papaw also loved to camp and fish and take us to the Y and Hesse Creek to swim (always being our look-out for snakes.) Almost every 4th of July was spent in a camper at Douglas Lake. And once he even made a trip to Hawaii where he discovered the most amazing food in the world – macadamia nuts. He couldn’t get enough of them and he bought a couple cases to bring home with him to share with family and friends and gave them out like blocks of gold. And then he discovered them again. . . at the local Food Lion.

The last and most important one.

Always be there for your grandchildren – even when they aren’t so cute and can’t fit on your lap anymore. Even when they’re moody, self-centered, complicated teenagers who listen to weird music. Even when they get married and have children of their own. They still need you. Sometimes even more than when they were little.

I lived with my grandparents for some time when I was in high school and I’m sure that wasn’t in their retirement plan, but they always rose to the task and provided me a stable and loving home at a time when I needed it the most.

As adults, they continued to be there for us. We always knew that all we had to do was ask, and they’d help any way they could.

I think that as we lose our grandparents, we all feel as though we just didn’t do enough to show them how special they were to us. To let them know just how important they were in shaping the people we are today. But maybe that isn’t the point. Maybe they just show us the way. . .so that when we’re grandparents ourselves, we know EXACTLY how to be one. It is, after all, one of the last jobs we have the chance to do really well. And then we get the opportunity to pour all that love and wisdom into our own grandchildren. I know that I had the best teachers. I just hope that I can do half the job they did.

There are no dollar bills to lessen the blow today. But I am so grateful to have been loved by such an incredible person. I am so happy to know that Mamaw and Papaw are together today. And I hope that we can make them proud of the people they left behind.

Walter White
December 18, 1919 - June 20, 2009